I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
