rhymes with "ouble enetration"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
