I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize