Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
