I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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