Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
