i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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