I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
