Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm always down for nudity.
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