Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
