I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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