Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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