I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
