sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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