I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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