I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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