I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
