my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
