I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Holy sore nipples Batman
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
