dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
