i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
