so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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