and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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