put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Soap is not a condiment
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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