in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
