Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
