I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
