I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
