Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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