i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
