You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We are two peas in an std pod
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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