my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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