he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
