Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
cat food counts as protein by the way
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
