is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
