you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
