Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
