can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
