I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
