So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
