Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
