We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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