smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
