I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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