tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
