I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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