When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm just crazy horny about you
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
