We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
