so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
