? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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