bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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