i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
