You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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