u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
