dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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