you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock deserves a montage
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize